The in-between

Yes, it sucks. But, alas... 'tis always the doom.

Tired, spent the afternoon and evening with D, went to my Mom's house and visited with her and she made D and I a dinner that she hadn't made me since I was little. I feel very guilty for not having seen my mom in so long - she is going crazy with worries and I haven't even bothered calling her for extensive chats. This is going to change. She is my mother and she is at the top of the list. My well being, D, Mom/family/close family, School, friends... that's about right. I just need to keep these priorities right - otherwise my balance gets overthrown. I try to please too many at once and it drives me crazy. I have been doing my best to do what *I* want for a change instead of thrusting it onto others or going along for the ride, and it has worked most of the time, but I don't think I have gotten rid of the wishy washyness totally yet. My goal heheh - balancing the forces of people in my life. I am me, hear me roar! I love all the people around me!

When I was with T (about 5-7 years ago) I didn't like being told what I could or couldn't do, or was given guilt for doing something he didn't like. I allowed myself to be what he envisioned me to be and now that he is out of my life I enjoy being in charge of myself and meeting the different people.

D has been one of the most true, honest, and loving person I have run into - just like what I look for in best friends. He may tickle me a lot, but he does so to make me laugh. He makes me smile when he looks sleepy in the morning, when he lets me make plans and he just says "ok" after suggestions, and when he chases me down the hallway after petting my pet fish with his fingers because I find it gross when he wipes it on me. He makes the week fun.

He is quickly becoming a part of my life in many ways. Too much girly talk about the boyfriend... so back to my Sunday...

D and I got back at around 9pm and popped in a movie and snuggled the rest of the night. Perfect. I am hoping to get up with him and have breakfast before he goes to work and then maybe taking a nap - to then wake and see if Aspen is still up for company.