ooohhh. new camera brings so many options!

I brought the little camera with me to class. Not because I was going to use it, or that I *thought* i may use it, but just cuz I could. It's such a tiny little thing, 12 MP and yes.. with built in memory, I can take 4 fine, humongous pictures... hehe I need to figure out exactly how to get them scaled down a bit and to use my memory that I have. I can update with a 2 gig mem stick... we'll see. :)

Oh, and of course I now need a Flicker account.. or something. Better get working on that ASAP! hehe

And here is my computer at night... love it. Kinda bright tho... especially at night, in a tiny dorm... /shrug. Ah well, I gotta love the blinkies and glowy things !

New Camera

My new computer from over Christmas break. Yes, I have made it embellished and all girly!
I'm getting used to the focus and lighting and such - so bare with me. :)


Thanks to ImageShack for [URL=http://imageshack.us]Free Image Hosting[/URL]

Oh yah side note

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Come back... Please!

M & M's

mmm.. im sitting in the library, harsh lights, my jeans are new and digging into my tummy, my hair seems plastered to my head (time for new haircut), a fan is giving me chills on the neck, but the rest of me is warm, I'm staring at a single pretty blue M&M on the desk and watching people wal in and out of the doors. Now one of my guys behind the check-out desk got stolen for the dungeon (basement level compy lab) and we're back to just me and one guy behind check-out. Oh well, we'll be ok, just for another hour or so anyway - YAY!

I finished my oral report on Courtly Love... and it took longer than it should have - I read the whole book and made some good notes... lol this was spose to be just a smll thing. Ah well... overachiever wins again!

Ew, I just realized I dumped my M&Ms onto the counter where tons of germs are... 3 second rule - 3 min rule? They are coated rather well.. minimum contact because or the shape..... heh

Breathing

Well, I did finally calm down this morning but it took a lot of homework swamping me and some music to get me moving again. I have a feeling I am going to have this problem every morning until I get settled next year.

I am excited about Nanny Mcphee - the movie coming out this weekend. I have some guesses on the movie and when I checked out the website, I feel that I am right. I kept telling D about my theory and making him watch the previews closely and told him what I thought. I don't think he's sold - but from clues given, I feel that I figured it out :) :) Yah, I rock... im such a nerd tho.. sigh. Wish there was money involved in predicting movies ;) Mostly they just give you a knuckle sandwiche... right Aspen? hehe

I am ahead on my homework for this next Tuesday... so I am free to look up some info on Courtly love for a quick report next Tuesday and then to just work on my thesis the rest of the week.

And so the anxiety begins...

I'm waking up with a large twist in my chest and wanting to burrow under the covers and hide. I still feel like I'm 13 or so with adult problems and I think, "What the hell was I thinking, I can't do this?!"

But, I must. I've been working toward this last semester for over 8 years and with the help from wonderful professors, I made it to this point. But is this point too much? Am I going to make it?

What happens after this point? I've got another factor in my life, D. I don't want to leave him for more than a year to four. I don't want to. But, then, what's left in Bemidji? I'd have to find some sort of job I am happy with. And then, what happens? I'm stuck here with no chance to continue my education? My goal is to still be a college professor - I want to teach the Old English texts, Icelandic sagas, Marie de France and even a bit 'o Chaucer. I want to be happy, be with D and enjoy life to the fullest. These two goals need to mesh together, otherwise, I am going to be unhappy in some way.

OK, time to move around and feel like I can accomplish something.

• shower
• eat
• read more Troilus and Crisseyde
• E-Mail Hall Council
• Begin planning an outline

Think, only third week, only the third week, its only the third week, im ok, i can get this stuff done. it is only the third week, ill be fine. I need to organize my time for testing and writing. it is only the third week.

Copycat ;)

Yep, Aspen did it first - but she seems to be finding these neat little quiz thingy's - too much fun.

you are blueviolet #8A2BE2

Your dominant hues are blue and magenta. You're the one who goes to all the parties but doesn't quite fit in at every one... you know what you want, but are afraid of what the world might think of it. You're a little different and that's okay with them, and if you're smart it's okay with you too. Your saturation level is higher than average - You know what you want, but sometimes know not to tell everyone. You value accomplishments and know you can get the job done, so don't be afraid to run out and make things happen. Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

I want

I always want something hehe
I want a digital camera... I want the Euphoria (CK) and Burberry Brit, I wanna go shopping, but when I do.. I absolutely don't want to buy what I find. Maybe its Bemidji, maybe its a good subconscious editor yelling at me about my debts, or MAYBE I ... oh I don't think I can think of another reason.

Hehehe

At least I smell good from rubbing my wrists against those magazine inserts that have all these perfumes in them. Poor D is subjected to, "what you think?" and then I shove my wrist under his nose and he sniffs, thinks and then sometimes says, "meh" or "hmmm". I don't think we like the same scents hehe. I guess I go for the more citrusy fruity, flowery scents and he was looking more at the musky smells. Ihave adverse reaction to musky perfumes cuz mom has always liked those. I guess I just like to smell different :)

Im really lazy right now. I can't seem to get much work done. I need classes hehe. I didn't know I'd be so .. lost at sea... without having structured daytimes where I am supposed to do things at certain times. Freetime means too much freetime. I always say, oh i'll get this done.. and this. But then I do all those little errands and my day is over... I am stuck without having done the actually important things. Hmmm... something needs to change.

An ode to 2am

I worked late tonight
I came home and watched tv
I turned off my light
but my computer called to me
SIMS was to be

SERIOUSLY! Ewwww and HUH?

I was checking out my webtracker to see who's been hitting my blog and such.. well I checked out the "search words and phrases" that people are using to find my website and there are some seriously disturbing searches out there:

(It's even slightly embarassing to ME that my blog would show up... bleh- stupid search engines)

16 Jan, Mon, 20:00:15	MSN Search: college life
16 Jan, Mon, 20:25:12	Yahoo: pictures of sexual life of horse
16 Jan, Mon, 22:40:57	Google: daily naaaughty
17 Jan, Tue, 06:29:04	Yahoo: naughty america college sex
17 Jan, Tue, 09:41:16	MSN Search: college boys getting off
17 Jan, Tue, 13:37:22	Yahoo: buying skis, pictures
17 Jan, Tue, 13:58:53	MSN Search: college blog
17 Jan, Tue, 13:59:59	MSN Search: college blog
18 Jan, Wed, 02:47:41	Yahoo: ayleen tv blogs
18 Jan, Wed, 10:55:21	Google: aspen bedding menards
18 Jan, Wed, 12:37:47	MSN Search: college life
18 Jan, Wed, 13:15:38	MSN Search: college life
18 Jan, Wed, 21:08:43	MSN Search: college life
19 Jan, Thu, 08:26:37	Google: "build your own beetle"
19 Jan, Thu, 09:53:57	Google: ayleen blog
19 Jan, Thu, 10:07:00	Yahoo: college life and the stress it causes
19 Jan, Thu, 12:33:10	MSN Search: trying to live the college life
19 Jan, Thu, 13:10:56	MSN Search: Pictures of College life
19 Jan, Thu, 18:53:40	Yahoo: college life pictures
19 Jan, Thu, 19:17:24	Google: choppy current haircuts

WOW, huh?
What in the world could I be talking about to get this kind of result to my blog? I'm wondering what these people think when they run into such an innocent blog - I can almost feel their nasty eyes on my blog /shudder.

Ok take for example the "Naughty america college sex" search, my blog showed up with this: ... the life of a College Graduate and the saga of ... help your child get through the 'naughty-ness' of life ... Internet Un-Safe Sex, Everquest Bloggers, and a good friend ...
This link is to the actual page they would have encountered... I don't think they found what they wanted heh heh heh. As some will see... I was blogging things for a class... and I guess that is what got the searchers attention. /shrug. That's too bad for you, nasty person! neener.

Can I write, like in my diary when I was about 10, "STAY OUT!" across the front? Although, I'd need to put a subtitle there, such as
"STAY OUT if you are a pervert!"

MSN chat

Aya-Library-Midnight says:

washington post article

Aya-Library-Midnight says:

An interesting article - which goes over a lot of the bad things but does discuss the good. I just feel there should be some kind of course added to curriculums that address the use of online identities and the possibilities of positive or negatives associated with it.

Aya-Library-Midnight says:

Aspen said it made her think of H - which I can see that some of the images she had put up were in the beginning may have been too much but she is starting to make herself an identity online and I think she is using her creativity to do it. If she runs into trouble, though, she needs to feel free to talk to someone if there's wierd ppl talking to her online

Aya-Library-Midnight says:

I dunno, I feel I had a few bad experiences but a LOT of good experiences and I felt my self confidence raise through the online atmosphere. I felt like I could be more free and it slowly spilled into my real life and then knew that I didn't need to be online anymore

Yet, I still have my blog. Not a chat program where there is instant gratification, but a feeling of belonging and havng a space of my own out in the internet world. We may be going outside less, but we're reaching farther than the past.

So close, yet so far

Well, I got my grad paperwork in *JUST* late enough to where my financial aid went in last night. Bah! Now it has to be fixed again - hopefully by Friday. Well, this should be the last time I mess that up hehehe

I am getting behind on stuff - I guess it comes from my inability lately to do it all. I stay up until midnight to 2am and then get up around 9pm and run around doing errands. I try to do it all during this time, but I must be taking too long or going too slow /shrug

We lost our Treasurer and so now Oak H.C. is trying to scramble to get ready for the Oakdogging on Friday. I am hoping we will have signs and be ready for this. I am requesting a good chunk of money in order to get the supplies and I and Jeremy are going to get this. So, I need to get up around 7:45 to get to campus at 8:30 - maybe I should get up with D and head in with him for breakfast. I think I should grab up some for Loralyn too. hmmmm...

I am working on my thesis a lot - however it's going slightly slower than I want. So, I need to get my butt moving a lot more than this. I need to make a headquarters away from my room - I think I better start hanging out in the library office more - make it into my "you will work on thesis for at least 4-5 hours" space and keep that up everyday. Yep, I think that will be my best bet.

I work tonight at the library, so I am going to be eating with D tonight and then heading right out. Myabe Wednesday and Thursday will be the days I work at night and then Monday, tuesday and friday are when I do the Library office. When I work it is for 6 hours and its been great working during that time. I also need some side time to work on my class (Troy story) and to begin working on the website for D's parents and his sister (this is more of a fun thing to me).

I am getting more and more worried about how little time I have left here. I have yet to do the comp tests:

Written Comprehensive Examination
[update effective August 2003] The written comprehensive exam is a significant milestone in the student's academic career. It is not intended to review or address the material of a particular class but to address a wide field of study, and a diverse set of perspectives.
Consequently, students are asked to select those areas of study on which they wish to be examined, and to work with three different faculty members in taking their comprehensive exams.
The exam is taken in three parts. All parts will be taken in one semester. This can be a summer semester if faculty are available. It is expected that students take the comprehensive exam during their last semester of coursework or shortly thereafter.
The exam may be taken while working on the thesis. However, according to Graduate Studies Requirements, the oral defense of the thesis cannot be scheduled until the written comprehensive examination has been passed.
Students should make arrangements for their comprehensive exam early in the academic year to make sure that faculty will be available.
It is the student's responsibility to arrange the comprehensive exam. students should work closely with their advisors in selecting areas of examination and faculty examiners.CoverageThe written comprehensive examination will cover three broad areas of English or American language and literature. Students should select three (3) areas of study from the following list:
British Literature
American Literature
World Literature
Literature by Genre
Literature by Period
Linguistics/English Language
Literary Criticism
Composition/Rhetoric
and Pedagogy
For each area, the student should also choose a graduatefaculty member with expertise in that area to act as an examiner. Select three faculty. Selected faculty will work with the student to develop the exam question or questions for that area, and to set the date, time, and procedures for that section of the exam. Common procedures include open-book timed writing (3 - 4 hours), or a take-home paper. The three faculty members
representing the three areas selected by the student will form the comprehensive Reading Committee. Each section of the exam will be read and evaluated by the faculty member who wrote the question. Completed exams will be held by one member of the Reading Committee until all three sections are taken before being passed on for review by the full Reading Committee. When all the exams are completed, the Reading Committee will meet to determine the student's overall evaluation.
Each exam must pass the entire Reading Committee by consensus.
All three sections of the exam must receive a pass. The student receives a score of
Pass with honors
Pass
No pass

A letter stating the student's performance on the comprehensive exam will be sent to the student. If a student does not pass an area of the exam, the Reading committee will determine what steps the student will need to take in order to
pass the exam.

I better keep up with this and get moving.

What color my blog should be...

Your Blog Should Be Blue

Your blog is a peaceful, calming force in the blogosphere. You tend to avoid conflict - you're more likely to share than rant. From your social causes to cute pet photos, your life is a (mostly) open book.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Well, that's no good - it's red. Hmmm.... maybe it's time for a change.

And, uh oh... this sounds pretty much just like me:

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

The Chill Pill

Yep, I took the blue pill and chilled out somewhat.

D and I went Skiing today - all day - whoohoo. We met up with Ja* and had a wonderful time. I fell down once by myself (went too fast down a harder slope) and then once when I was somehow connected to D's skis and we both went down laughing. It was when we tried getting off the ski lift - Ja* said he was being mischevious and had given D a push and that transferred to me and so we had a laugh as Ja* went down when he tried to go backwards. I did try the harder slopes and managed them - but finally realized that I was worrying SO much about falling and being all tense, that I wasn't having *fun*. So, I said toodles to the boys and went back to the easy green hill and enjoyed the last hour or so by myself as I practiced. I am not too good at it yet and I hate feeling out of control - hehe who does?

Talked to mom about possibly moving back home and she seems VERY fine about it hehe, makes me smile to think she would take me in anytime. Love that woman. But, I am going to school tomorrow to go fight for my dorm. I don't think I would like moving... which makes me wonder how I'm going to be able to move when I'm finally graduated. /sigh. Don't want to leave D! But, what else am I to do?

So, I am exhausted, sleepy and feeling happy that it is FINALLY Monday tomorrow - I can get things taken care of. Whew!

Jumping those hoops

Well, letters have started coming in... dominoe effect along with an added extra bonus.

So, in order for me to see if I can still even live in the dorms - look into why they are counting my undergrad german class as toward my masters and not toward my previous undergrad.

• Talk to Records
• If that doesn't work - talk to Deanna

Then, head to the Health Center and ask them what they have missing to make it impossible for me to sign up for any classes - after 6 years... they finally want this file? hmmm

• Health Center
• Get shots right then and there so I *can* sign up for my thesis credits

This is ridiculous to just throw things my way with nothing but letters to say that everything is cancelled as of now and I wasn't given a chance to look into fixing it without having everything put to a standstill and making me worry like crazy. What a shitty weekend i am having because of all this.

Somewhere in here I need to hand in my grad paperwork and hope that all this won't affect my GAship in the library.

This is not even including all the stuff i need to do for my thesis.

Oh please please please please

Maybe I could do the 9 month and come home for two weeks at christmas and a week for Easter. Please please please. I wanna go so bad hehe.

Iceland - medieval history, literature and culture. /faint

Gimme~!

Perusing the Google Pages for my name...

Yup, I felt it was time to do a catch-all and see what I've been up to. Heheh, this is always fun.

1. Ah huh... my 2002 website for class - back in the day. Nerd alert! ehhe
2. The infamous Cow-Tipping How-to site. So many e-mails sent to me on this one.
3. A scrapped website for my '04 College Writing Course. I used a blog in the end.
4. Hmm This College Writing I course website was used in '03.
5. Yup... I interned at the Summer Conference. ArtOfBlogging Workshop.
6. Here's a new one! Grand Forks Herald has me under Honors for being Oak Hall Council President. Neat!
7. Ahh a Lovely picture of Renee in this one. I am mentioned in the links section for other blogs for the Performance Newsletter.
8. Another Conference - GPACW for Blogs and Wikis - a Student Panel I was involved in.
9. Hmm my TimeLine Wiki is listed in this Teaching Wiki.
10. Various mentions of my name in Residential Life in BSU...
11. I totally forgot about this... these were my test pages for my Beowulf Senior Project. Of course my real Beowulf Guide is here.
12. And then the websites begin to get farther and farther from me.
13. Ah and yes, the incidents in Oak Hall on our local newspaper. Not sure if you'll be able to read this without a sign-in name.
14. Past Student Scholarship and Achievement Conference I participated in...
15. Oh lord... the old old old website. Obsess much with Everquest?!?! Glad I got over that heheh
16. My Aya's Places! First try at a fun site. Check out all those roll-overs!
17. LOL my first Wiki Page.

I think that's enough for now. LOL I need to