Life in the schnell lane

It's strange. All the work you put into a subject and yet no matter what, you just can't seem to get it perfect. I am an 'A' student, I haven't had anything for a grade below an 'A' for a couple years now. But, now that I'm taking German, I have been seeing an assortment of grades that just makes me depressed. What happened? All my other classes still keep their lustre - but this... this is another story! My heart stops when I look at the grades on my tests and afterwards, I go shopping. You should see the stuff I have bought out of the name of "relaxation". /sigh

The last couple weeks, I felt like something was slipping - control perhaps, happiness (no - i still smile and laugh), but going back to control - control of what? Who honestly has control of their life? My control is one of time and management of said time. What happens when you have too many kittens in one basket? A few start crawling out - and into dangerous situations. Lets just say, my kittens have mostly been spilled out and I've been trying to scoop them all back into the basket but they are so wriggly, that when I get one in, another gets out. Frustrating.