Home

The feeling of being home, the smell of your bedroom -as long as you didn't leave some kind of dish throughout the whole summer to find that you have actually bred a new species of fly- the love you get from your mother who has been missing you day in and day out, the pets who decide you are their new pillow and will take every opportunity to wipe their nose across your cheek, and the excitement of not having to get up early in the mornings.

My favorite has been the smell of coffee in the morning, rolling out of bed, grabbing a sweater and dragging my groggy self upstairs into the kitchen to find my mom has been up for about five hours already. She is bright eyed and asking me what I want to do that day. "Stay home." Is all I ever want to reply. I have no money - Christmas is the death of my checkbook- and I just want to cozy up in a blanket and watch old british comedies (Are You Being Served? and maybe Keeping Up Appearances), and maybe old star trek reruns, what a way to go back into my childhood.

We bring up dad off and on every day, missing him a lot during the holidays. We dropped off some christmas flowers at his grave yesterday and it looked good. Very cold, but I am sure he wouldn't be able to feel it. His spirit is definitely in the house as we watch movies he would have liked or play cards.