I had a bad day - an inappropriate comment made in an inappropriate setting. One that was upsetting and derogatory toward me - and was made in confidence that it wouldn't have happened - but the trust was overstepped. Now, to deal with the incident - which won't be as bad as the actual incident itself. I was very - well - f**king pissed - and that doesn't happen often.
Aspen made me calm down with some good old fashioned coldstone ice cream and all was going well. Until someone I have looked up to for a long time began yelling at me for trying to help. This person knows I would never do anything to make it worse - I am always trying to help - but this person's personality is different from mine and yelling is just second nature when they're stressed. But, I don't work well under that kind of abusive environment. So, I took it in stride with a smile, made an excuse for the person to the others standing around and then ran to my room before I could embarass myself to cry in the privacy of my room. Now, all I can think is thank God, thank God. Next year everything will have changed and I can go about my business without some of these problems.
Calm again - but still - it doesn't make you feel good to be yelled at in front of others, it doesn't feel good to feel any of that "face" that you put up for people in order to get work done to drain away into unnecessary embarassment. It's just a horrible day, and I think I'll stay in my room the rest of the night and just do some homework and work on something that will make me happy.
Something for me.
Something that is mine.
But, I am on duty tonight, so that will hopefully go without a problem. Don't think I can handle anything atm.
